Thursday, February 24, 2005

Let's see... where to start... Well starting around Valentine's Day, actually, I've been feeling kinda run down and tired. Very strange. My mind usually feels sharp & engaged, but my eyes are burning and tired. Started wearing my glasses in the morning instead of contacts, thinking perhaps that was the problem. Doesn't seem to help. And I hate having bloodshot looking eyes. So gross! Very sensitive about eyes, anyway, as Mer can tell anyone -- yuck, they're like spheres of goo, but without them... well I can't imagine not being able to see. OK, anyway, moving on to actual events in my life rather than bizarre rants on eyeballs:

Last weekend was pretty low key. I had an essay to write, after all. Friday night we watched Night of the Living Dead, because I wanted to see the originals after the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Pretty good, with the satirical ending... rather bleak view of the world. Saturday was a quiet day, stayed on campus, and in the evening we were waitlisted to see this play, so instead we played trivial pursuit while drinking gin & tonics (my favorite drink, it seems "adult," & it really DOES taste like a Christmas tree). Sunday morning I had mentoring appointments, and in the afternoon we went to Rao's in Amherst for studying & Fresh Side (I love those ginger tofu rolls). In the evening we moved from the black & white Night of the Living Dead to the very '80s Dawn of the Dead. Interesting to see the original finally. It definitely had a lot more going for it in terms of, um, content. The new one is all special effects, and they seem to have forgotten to use the whole idea of the mall/ consuming/ commercialism, etc. The Romero version, although it might not be the most high tech (come on, the flesh eating scenes were CLEARLY latex and fake blood), at least had a POINT.

Anyway, we also watched Desperate Housewives with Karuna, which was another great episode! Overnight it snowed, so Andrew stayed till lunchtime. We ate at Blanchard (where we apparently were seen by half the campus), and then he walked across the snowy green to his car while I headed off to Clapp for my Stoppard class. Kinda funny having him around for what is normally a more hectic part of the week.

This week has flown by. Last Friday, PS, I had a major breakthrough with the thesis. Not in the productive I wrote 50 pages way, but in the wow, the way I was doing this really wasn't going to work, and this is a better way, even though it means scrapping 15 pages of writing. So it looks like my class relations chapter is going to be expanded to, somehow, be my entire thesis (along with my short stories...) Tomorrow will be my thesis work day, it needs some attention.

OK... so further big news on the grad school front. Andrew was rejected at Stanford last Friday. I was rejected at UC San Diego (on the same day!) But that morning, while waiting for a call from a prof. at Wisconsin, a prof. called from Brandeis to tell me that I'm in (which entails a 5 year funding package, free health care, etc.) Hmmm. I finally called this prof back, let's just go by M.S., and Prof. S. has this great English accent, and at one point actually said "Oh, excuse me, the kettling is boiling," followed by the sound of a whistling teapot growing louder in the background. So excellent! Apparently he was at Columbia the same time as two profs. here... That was a "small world" moment.

So eventually I did get the call from the Wisconsin prof, and we chatted for awhile (not quite an hour though). I feel like it would be a very "safe" place to go (she made it sound as if I'd receive a "warm welcome"). We talked about where literary theory is going (finally got in my comment about reading Eagleton's After Theory and feeling all jazzed that the field is wide open). At some point, I realized that I was sitting on my bed in my 5 year old delia's flannel star pajamas. Funny moments in the life...

So the BIG news, though... Today I got back &, like every other day, immediately checked my voicemail & my email. Saw at least one email from Stanford. Thought, OK, I'll open this first, probably a rejection, no big news, Andrew isn't in there. Opened it... wow. I've been admitted! With full funding, of course, because that's the dept. standard. Argh! Now what? Talked to Audra this morning about this worry... That I almost wished I wouldn't get into places that Andrew didn't, even if they are my tippy top choices. Talked to Mum a little. Must speak with Quillian & S. and... ahh... I don't know! I mean... their website says they generally offer places to 12 students a year, out of like 350 applications. And the prof. made it sound like this was an esp. competitive year... ACK. So direct any comments, opinions, pieces of advice, words of wisdom, to my "comment" feature, recently enabled by none other than my Andpew, who so should have gotten into Stanford... they don't know what they're missing out on =(

Still holding out hope that we both get into Brown, Berkeley, or MIT/ Harvard.

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