Saturday, May 06, 2006

This just in: Blue states DO have values!

Pandagon's Pam has got this amazing write up of 1) the problems with "covenant marriages" which are being promoted in many conservative states, and 2) the fact that blue states actually have LOWER DIVORCE RATES!

1) These covenant marriages are f-ing scary. It basically just makes it harder to get a divorce -- judges won't hear your plea for a divorce until you've had two years of counseling, and it's VERY difficult for those in abusive relationships to get the hell out. Why? Because if one partner wants to stay married, you're stuck. And their idea of abuse seems to focus almost solely on extreme physical abuse, completely ignoring more subtle psychological abuse (and having HAD that, I can see how it would be almost impossible to get the necessary divorce). Here's a scary story from

The law is so ambigious that most courts will not even HEAR any cases concerning covenant marriages WITHOUT a two year separation AND counseling. Even though the law states you have 3 "outs" (abuse, adultery, and felony conviction resulting in JAIL TIME, it is NOT the case. If one member of the marriage does NOT want "out", the court does not even have to hear the case. That is how scary the covenant marriage is, especially when faced with what I was faced with. Abuse has to be proven, and it seems only physical abuse is acceptable AND only IF the spouse is beating you up in court. Adultery, the courts will just mandate counseling for two years, and even after the counseling, if one spouse doesn't want a divorce...guess what? You must stay married...

The guy I was married to informed me that as long as he doesn't hit me with a closed fist, it is NOT abuse. And it would not result in a felony arrest. And even if it DID, as long as HE didn't want to divorce, guess what? I would not get a divorce. And this is how the courts here are interpreting the law. It is scary and frightening...

I personally think the covenant law should be removed entirely as even a "choice". These are my thoughts on a covenant marriage, having recently just gotten out of a living nightmare. It is a BAD idea. "They" say there are loop holes, such as spousal abuse. Do you consider it a "loop hole" when a RESTRAINING ORDER has been filed (and not a temporary restraining order, but a PERMANENT ONE) and even THEN a judge says, "sorry, you still have to wait after a two year seperation"????????

2) This website (scroll down to Nov. 4th entry) has an awesome entry on blue vs. red state values. Not surprisingly, red states have higher percentages of teen pregnancies and divorces compared to blue states. Around 5 divorces per 1000 in red states, compared to 3.6 in blue states. In red states, up to an average of 14.2 teen pregnancies per 1000 as compared to 9.8 in the bluest states. Intriguing. So basically, blue states have a better track record with the very "moral values" that Bush's regime supposedly embodies... Kind of like how abortion rates have actually gone up under Bush.

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