Look, here's my wife & little kids! Aren't they cute? Ok, scoot off, I've got *business* now (which y'all know women don't need to be a part of, it's not like we're going to talk about *them* at all).
I'm against abortion [no reason given besides something about "life" that apparently doesn't include women's lives]. I'm against partial-birth abortion [even though I *clearly* don't understand that this procedure saves women's lives when a pregnancy goes wrong].
I'm against embryonic stem cell research [because of "life"? apparently not the lives of people with diseases. but let's ignore that those embryos will get thrown out anyway! let's call them "unborn children" instead of freezer burnt embryos!]
I care about children! [because my opponents don't? And I bet you were waiting for something about the millions of uninsured children? Like I'd even think of that, much less *mention* it.]
I'm worried about government spending! [and you all should trust a former lobbyist to cut government spending while actually caring about public programs?]
LOOK, TERRORISTS! [Had to fit that in somewhere]