Ok definitely need an update!

Last Thurs: This was the first day we kind of needed to be back at MHC... Things were actually planned for us. In the morning, I went with Alex to Laura's brunch get together. We had a little trouble finding the bed and breakfast, but all was well once we got there. And the mimosa definitely helped relieve the symptoms of a cold or allergies (couldn't figure it out). I decided to drop the canoe sing activity, since I didn't want to be totally overbooked. So I went home and slept... Then got ready for the senior bbq in the backyard of the president's house. It was a beautiful day... we sat at a patio table, and then moved into the sun for dessert. Beer & ice cream... don't really go together. Loved hanging out with my neighbors & friends again -- as time was winding down, I was getting progressively sadder about leaving MHC.

Afterwards, I hung out with Karuna & Susan until Final Lecture... which was entertaining, although the first speaker had a serious speech for us, that didn't mesh with the latter two, or the purpose of the event. Luckily it didn't last much beyond a half hour, because I had to rush home to see the season finale of the OC! (Which was awesome!) Jen came down with wine and we drank and yelled at the tv. Jen was ready to leave with all the violence.

I was planning on hanging out with Mom and Tim in the evening, but they have the same bad luck with airplanes as I do. True to form, the airlines screwed up and had delays at both PDX & Chicago. They really can't get their s*#! together. But it turned out to be for the best, as I went with Karuna & Susan to D Becky's wine & cheese party. The bunny was in good form, and I got some funny pictures. We ate... and drank... and watched ER. Got to bed rather late, but tried not to worry too much!

Friday morning was a long ass graduation rehearsal. First of all, I couldn't figure out why they had people speaking to us (some from the CDC). It seemed to be a time filler while we completed surveys on our experience at MHC and our future plans. I didn't appreciate my time being wasted when I wanted to sleep and rest up for a very busy day. Then, they had every single person who wasn't happy with how their name was announced stand in ONE LINE and correct the prof. reading. Which is fine -- if they want to wait in a line instead of filling out the form given to us way back in Sept, that should be their waste of time. But to make ALL OF US wait, when they could have just done the corrections at the conclusion of the rehearsal after letting the rest of us GO (who either have easy to pronounce names, or sent in the form as asked), was frankly inconsiderate and ridiculous. Kathleen and I were literally lying down trying to fall asleep on the small carpeted area of the field house. Argh! Even I filled out a form, and my name is ridiculously common in this country.

Luckily, Mom and Tim didn't head over to MHC right away that morning. I grabbed lunch at Blanchard (amidst confused alums), and headed up to the Delles. I went toward the front of the building, thinking that perhaps I'd intercept Mom and Tim somehow. Lo and behold, there they were, chatting with other parents, right in front of the Delles! So I showed them around, we took a walk all over campus & ate, went through the million dollar garden & looked at bullfrogs in the smaller pond, walked toward upper lake, and then decided to go to Amherst in the later afternoon.

First, though, Tim had some unfinished business to attend to -- he decided to arrange with FM to make a sign with the MHC stencil on it. Amazingly, in the time it took Mom and I to do some errands, Tim had gotten this sign made. It'll look cool later, I'm thinking in my stable with two horses... =) Afterwards, we got food and ate on the Amherst green. It was getting a tad chilly... we headed back to MHC.

In the evening, Andrew got there just in time to walk with us over to Abbey Chapel. It was great. They played Havah Nagilah, and Karuna had a beautiful solo! Mom & Tim decided to go back to the hotel, and Andrew & I stayed in.

Saturday was busy, busy... Bright and early, we headed over to Abbey/ Buck in our white for the laurel parade. I really wanted to carry the laurel, which nearly backfired later on when alums were yelling at me to catch up before the laurel broke! But before that, we had like 40 minutes of sitting there in the cold. Luckily Mum bought me a white cardigan, so I wasn't totally freezing. I stepped on a worm, which scared me because I didn't notice till I'd basically cut it in two. We finally started, marching with the other alums, and then marching between them to the grave. They had lots of great signs, and everyone was in their class colors. We did our weaving around the grave, getting a bit unwielding in formation, and then sang a rather disjointed version of Bread and Roses. Difficult to find people afterwards!!

I finally turned in my thesis to the English Dept., changed clothes, and went to the alum meeting in the amphitheater, which was scorching in the sun. Then we had the community picnic, which was decent... drank wine... sat kind of lazily for the Phi Beta Kappa induction... ran back in the now drizzling weather to put away the certificate, then suddenly the sun was out again, and hurried over the English dept. at home. Yummy carrot cake =) Very cool introducing Mum & Tim to Corinne & Quillian and everyone... Hugged Bev, talked with Laura... ahh such fun! Then I think Mom and Tim were ready to go (Prof. A. was later wondering where they were)... after Corinne had them reading my thesis!! Ack. I walked back to the dorm with Andrew & Laura.

Dinner was the Under the Stars theme, under the huge tent on Skinner Green. We sat with Laura and Kathleen, both of whom my mother LOVED. She said they both had elements of a girlfriend she had way back when. I had lots of chocolate mousse, and it soon became apparent that I have no table manners =) Then, in the drizzle, we had the baccheloreate ceremony. Emily C. had a speech, JoJo, a chaplain, Profs. Renda & Chen (I think?)... and singing... and then it was suddenly over. Rather strangely spiritual sending off. Standing out gathering everyone up, Korisha's mother (who is incredibly cool, I fell in love with her in the like combined 15 minutes I was around her) was about ready to bring me back with them. Had a little encounter with a public safety officer, who was offering to see her home or something... odd! But the evening wasn't over... Andrew and I caught the very end of the canoe sing (unfortuately we didn't get there till late because we were getting ready to be out at the party). Then we wandered around... and I wished we had gotten right to the canoe sing and THEN gotten ready, instead of missing so much of it. Eventually perked up again with some beer at the party. Ran into Karuna & Susan & Jen & Janet (and her brother!) & Andrew's friends. Merry was about ready to keep me partying till 4 am. Luckily she let me go! =)

Sunday morning, tired and sleepy, I was off after a quick breakfast to line up for commencement. It was inside, unfortunately. Lots of marching to bagpipes and running to catch up in line and sitting. Nina Totenberg's speech was OK, except for the "girls' school" slip up. Claudia's speech was awesome though! Walking across the stage was strangely anticlimatic. I think my exact thoughts were "step step OK shake, get the paper packet, don't fall down, get going, down the stairs, should I pause here for pictures?" Yeah not so exciting. Afterwards, I had a teary goodbye with Corinne, and hung out with Beth, Korisha, and Liz. Ahh... sadness. Leaving is so sad =(

After the reception (yum cheesecake and fudge), Mom and Tim went to Brinfield antiquing, while Andrew and I packed up my room. We dropped stuff off at Salvation Army, ate one last time at Osaka, got ice cream to go from Herrell's, got cake & cookies for Mum and Tim, & got coffee from Rao's for Andrew (that along with the fudge sauce from Herrell's was his taste of the valley birthday present... wish I had thought of that earlier!) Back at the Delles, Mum & Tim had dessert and I finished up packing. They left to sleep (before their trips to Mystic & Newport the next day) while Andrew and I got everything together, had a last fun conversation with Claudia, Karuna, and Craig, and then drove back to Boston. We got in around 1 am... Luckily Andrew slept in the next day and just went to work late. I was so tired I started falling down in the shower... staying up till 3 am after a busy commencement weekend is so not a good idea!

Monday I just slept, basically. And watched TV. And went food shopping. Yum mango fried rice! Same with Tuesday. I watched movies... some Young Frankenstein, Snake Pit, Dolores Claiborne, Princess Bride, etc. Weds. I went to work at W2K... loved seeing everyone! But the office was FREEZING. The management CLEVERLY turned off the heating system on May 15th, and even in light of record setting low "highs" in the 40's, couldn't be bothered to turn it back on. Or even to turn off the autopilot AC, for that matter. Warmed up with buffalo chicken for dinner!

Thurs. I went in to work again, this time armed with three sweaters and a blanket. No joke. People were seriously walking around with blankets wrapped around them. Arggghh! Oh I finally experienced the cafe food a bit. Usually I avoid that. But the chocolate cookies are oh so yummy. Kinda sad to leave the office for the last time. I spent so much time there last summer... Said goodbye's to the other interns & Charlene. On the way home, we picked out Andrew's glasses... And then had our last dinner at 9 Tastes. More mango fried rice! Last night we also watched Kinsey, which was good, but not as good as I'd hoped.

Today I've just been watching TV & packing for my flight tomorrow... so nice to just relax finally!

I'm at work so this will be quite brief. It's FREEZING in here. I've got long socks on, slacks, and three layers -- cotton shirt, wool cardigan, Andrew's fleece -- and I'm STILL COLD!! My fingers get ice cold typing. Today's "high" (in the mid forties) is a record setting low for the Boston area. And it's raining like hell and windy outside. Great, huh? And, the management of the office buildings cleverly decided to turn off the heat back on May 15th -- in other words, it is now impossible to get the heat on. So we're all shivering, and wondering how they get away with charging rent for this office space. People are literally walking around in blankets. No joke.

Anyway, just had to copy Andrew's IM, because he's slowly going crazy with the computer science textbook writing:


ANDPEW: oh so cheryl and i came up with a great movie idea
ANDPEW: it's about a disgruntled textbook writer who uses his collection of big ass books to store tools (a la Shawshank Redemption) and slowly bores his way through his cubicle
Pink Poodledog: hahahah
ANDPEW: only to find himself in the middle of the river outside
ANDPEW: then he gets sucked into the old mill, which unknowingly is still active
Pink Poodledog: oh lord
Pink Poodledog: you guys got pretty far along on the plot development
ANDPEW: it was actually all my idea
ANDPEW: well cheryl suggested emerging into the water like in the movie
ANDPEW: well when we went out to lunch some people from across the hall were wondering what we do, so we explained
ANDPEW: but then we were thinking it'd be fun to make up a story about how the books are really just a front
ANDPEW: and that they're so big so we can store all sorts of cool stuff in the cut-out insides
Pink Poodledog: hahaha
Pink Poodledog: you guys are crazy. over here we're more normal, because we don't do technical writing =)
ANDPEW: haha

ANDPEW: haha, you're so cute. i can tell you've finally realized you're actually done with college :-)

Auto response from Pink Poodledog: watching my newest addiction: america's next top model. yes, it's come down to this... I'm so starved for mindless tv that I've taken to watching animal cops and america's next top model.

Pink Poodledog: hahahah

Wow wow I'm really done!

Yesterday was my last day in Boston; Andrew, conveniently, wasn't feeling well enough to go to work. Lots of sleep. I'm still making up for the last year, I think. Sat in the sun reading, messing around on the computer, and napping, while Andrew got some work done. In the evening we began the arduous task of finding new glasses for Andrew. The problem with this: Andrew wants glasses that will define and reveal his innermost character. Judging from our hour in the eyeglass office, this is a tough order to fill.

Dinner was amazing... and a great reminder of why Blanchard food is disgusting... We made sushi -- some CA rolls, and some inventions using mango. Perfectly ripe mango & avocado... heaven on a cutting board.

This morning we had our last ever early morning car ride to the Boston bus station. Got there in plenty of time -- I actually fell asleep twice on the bus, too. MHC was beautiful today (it's sneaky like that, getting prettier before you leave). I got my thesis corrections & handed in the final copy to the library. Andrew led me through the PDF-cation of my thesis, with no snags. Dropped by the English Dept... cleaned up my room to Jen's MMMBop next door... had dinner with my neighbors, Claudia, Nora, Erin, Joanna, and friends =) Topics included: secret handshakes, personal pizzas, and to what extent Blockbuster is the puppy mill of the video world. Then I finally returned Marx to his proper home.

America's Next Top Model -- it wasn't the small town girl from the midwest that I was rooting for, but the winner is equally cool, I've decided. I guess now there's nothing left to do but continue packing... ick.

I'm now in Boston for senior week -- catching up on sleep!

Tuesday: I was nervous about the English Dept presentation on my thesis, and talked to Anna for awhile to procrastinate. I helped Maryanne set up a bit to distract myself, and arranged the room in a small, intimate circle. My hopes for a small & informal talk were dashed when the circle widened and widened to eventually include the entire Cassani Room. When Prof. Hill yelled at Azeen to speak up, and she had to stand up to be heard, I knew that we had definitely crossed the line from cozy talk to formal presentation. Of course, I had to go last, because of my last name. Damn it, why didn't I take Duckwall instead of Richardson? Then I could have been 2nd or 3rd from last... argh. Anyway, I got through it, and read the first couple pages of a short story that doesn't include dialogue till the third page (I can't distinguish by voice the different characters, without sounding as though I'm reading to children). Afterwards I got to talk to everyone, and Sarah & Miranda consoled me with beautiful flowers =)

Afterwards we had our last dinner at Wilder (sadness!) and I started packing stuff up & throwing things out. In the evening I played Trivial Pursuit with Karuna & the gang -- this time I was on Claudia & Kim's team (and of course they won). I was a bit tipsy afterwards... & Karuna & I went to M&C's.

Weds. I barely remember... I know we had a farewell dinner at Prospect (my last night eating in a real dining hall!), and I got lots of pictures with Sarah & Miranda & Ariel! In the evening I stopped by Esther & Jen's get-together to socialize a bit.

Thurs. I had a lovely afternoon sitting out on the grass in the garden by the art museum, writing out cards. It was just warm enough (although a bit windy), and the sun was wonderful. Dinner was awful though... We went to Blanchard and I stupidly ordered the special -- fried rice. It was soaked in soy sauce. I tried to eat some of it because I was hungry and that was my entire dinner swipe. Eventually I gave up, and Sarah tried it to compare it to hers. When she agreed that it was not edible, I complained to the checker & got a sandwich to replace it. Ick!! It's crazy... there's so much sodium in soy sauce, I don't understand why they would soak the rice in it... YUCK.

Friday I finally was motivated to take the bus to Boston -- in part because there was no way I was going to survive Blanchard food for the full week! The ride went smoothly, and I even saw my firstie Zainab for the first leg of the journey. All the elevators were working so I didn't have to drag my wheelie suitcase around, and the trains seemed to show up just as I arrived at the subway line. I took a nap finally when I arrived (sleepy from the lulling bus ride!)... and then we went out for Indian food in Davis Square. I prefer the place in Noho for my favorite masala, but the portions were definitely bigger here... and more in the way of extras (we had some sort of spicy plum sauce that was amazing). We started I heart Huckabees, but promptly fell asleep.

Saturday was a wonderfully lazy day. I slept tons trying to fight off this cold, and then we went out in the evening to Merry's birthday party. We talked to Merry a bit, who is great fun, but then found ourselves talking together and feeling awkward that we weren't mingling more... The problem being, that we both tend toward the wallflower mentality. And it seemed like everyone was already in their groups... And the people willing to strike up conversations with us were a bit, well, hard to get into. First there was a girl from Western Mass. who seemed rather hippie-ish and assured me that I really NEED to go to the Oregon Country Fair. Not just go, but find a vender (back in Oregon we call them carnies) to sneak me in overnight. OK. Maybe it's just me, but I would not feel super safe staying with a carnie overnight at the fair. After that awkward conversation ended, we soon found ourselves talking to a guy that Merry might like the day before. Apparently he's from Moldova. Luckily Andrew had at least heard of this country, because I'm not so good with geography. Once we extricated ourselves from that conversation, I think we were both ready to head out.

The highlight of the evening, though, was Merry's friends singing "Oh Merry" instead of "Oh Sherry." I wish I'd known Merry at MHC -- she's hilarious and so energetic. We're adoping each other for Big/Little Sister, because mine deserted me and she was abroad junior year. Another highlight was the strange coincidence of Dan -- who was also having a birthday. His gf, who he was flying out to see the next day in Seattle, was an intern with Andrew at Microsoft AND went abroad to Amsterdam at the same time with him. Strange.

Sunday was pretty quiet, until Andrew's roommate Mo started in on his Star Wars marathon party. Andrew & I ducked out to Jon & Jen's for dinner on the new grill. We hung out till Desperate Housewives was over (sooo good this week). The party was still going strong back at the apt. It sounded as though the apt. was under attack, with side commentary compliments of Mo. The place was pretty much trashed afterwards, and I finally deigned to turn off the tv at like 5 am after realizing that Mo had, in fact, decided not to bother. This morning I decided I couldn't stand it, and took out half the trash bags & cleaned up the counters & rangetop. The dishes, however, are all Mo's. Those I'm refusing to touch! Further proof why I NEED a studio at Stanford next year, and why I'm never living with any guys except Andrew (who's as OCD as me, and cleaner than any other representrative of the male species that I've ever known). Andrew was equally irate -- and is looking forward to his own place starting this summer that he can keep obsessively clean. I've never seen any guy but him actually PICK UP CRUMBS off the floor immediately after dropping them. In fact, he did it just last night at Jon & Jen's. Wow!

Today I was watching TV and decided that I should really read something instead of vegging to VH1's celebrity moments on tape. So I was looking at this article from the NYT, I think it went out on the 15th, about class in America. It made me feel vindicated in leaning toward Marxist theory and claiming that class is still a valid issue today...

Anyway, now it's time for vegging again!

Another full week... I'm all done!! Except for one presentation that doesn't count for anything tomorrow in the Eng. Dept...

Tues: Last day of undergrad. classes!! I was kind of tired from staying up and working on my presentation for Eng. 319, but, it wasn't so bad... running on adrenaline & excitement. At 4 pm we had strawberries & champagne, which was awesome. The champagne was gross, but the strawberries were good. And it was fun drinking ANYTHING at that point, just to get tipsy and celebrate, FINALLY! I took some funny pictures of Beth & Korisha... dancing on the back of a truck. Well we were sitting on the truck because there was no where to sit but on the grass, and then there were these guys coming over and we were sure they were going to tell us to go away, but they didn't... Lots of mingling, some stealing of champagne, and even a perfect picture of Beth yelling into the photographer's camera! I hope that one makes it into the yearbook...

Anyway, after about one and a half glasses, I was done. I hadn't eaten since lunch, & I hadn't been sleeping much. So of course in this condition I went to the English Dept picnic. I saw Quillian & Emily C., and Quillian asked "Is Becky drunk? I've never seen Becky drunk." To which Emily wondered when he would have, but anyway... Corinne arrived shortly after, and we had one of those movie moments where we both ran toward each other and hugged. I gave her my resource books & articles to check my citations, and then we had picnic fare... Decent veggie burgers, but no dessert!!! So much fun. So many people I love in one place! We sold t-shirts, I made people endure picture-taking with me, & we went on mingling expeditions. Afterwards, we never-missed-a-swipe, and then got ready to go to Prof. S's house for our Stoppard party. Jess got us there without any problems. Such a cute house! We ate Rosencrunch & Guildenpop while watching Shakespeare in Love, which is SO MUCH BETTER than I remembered. I got the Twelfth Night stuff, since I'd just seen the play at school, but I definitely did NOT pick up on John Webster or Christopher Marlowe the first time around. And it was just way better after reading/ seeing more of Stoppard's work. Many similarities... it was tempting to bring it into my paper on love ideologies... But anyway! That was another amazing time -- how often do you get to sit with a room full of people who have read Stoppard fairly extensively, love him, & want to talk about it? Ahh. And popcorn!

The ride home was a tad scary. First, Jess got lost. Then, we started seeing broken down cars and cemetaries, and some car was following right on Jess's butt...and we started comparing our plight to scary movie beginnings. I was specifically thinking of the beg. of Night of the Living Dead... or Urban Legend. But we ended up turning around and getting back to MHC minus any zombie encounters or hooks attached to car doors.

Weds: Started selling English Dept. t-shirts at lunch, and I started writing my final papers. I had dinner with everyone at Wilder... our last Gracious dinner!! And it was pretty amazing. Lots of random appetizers, like seafood pinwheels & terra chips & cherry tomatoes with fresh mozarella. But the desserts... ahh. The strawberries were incredible -- smaller and sweeter, like our Oregon strawberries. And mini cheesecakes w/ fudge sauce. Ahhh...!

From dessert, I went to the SAW dessert in the Great Room. The chocolate dipped strawberries weren't as good, but I ate them anyway. Along with a big piece of fudge cake. Good times! =) We talked about the program & what we'd learned from it... a nice wrap up. And they gave us MHC tote bags which made me happy (although the art museum ones are sooo perfect... but now that I have, well, now I have three khaki totes since my advisor gave me one to carry books in, too, now I can't see buying a fourth!) They'd also asked our profs to give feedback to mentors... I love my Prof.!

After SAW, it was time for the last V8's jam. Somehow, they made Gamble look cool w/ twinkly lights. The singing was great... esp. their new song, "At Last." Kathleen & I were very impressed. Then it was back to work on my Stoppard paper, which I worked on till late!

Thurs. was more of the same... Selling t-shirts, mentoring, and writing the Stoppard paper. I stayed up till quite late... drinking rooibos tea & eating leftover strawberries & cheesecake. Walking around this campus at like 10:30 at night during finals is an odd experience. Everything's blooming right now, so walking around campus first of all is a very... well, aromatic experience. Then people were playing softball in the dark on Pageant Green. Strange.

Friday: more of the same! I sold t-shirts at Blanchard for a little while, walked Ashley to the main dining service building, proofread my Stoppard paper, and started my 319 paper. In the evening I got ready for dinner out for Andrew's birthday. I got rather dressed up, & curled my hair... Fun ways to procrastinate. I took him to the Indian restaurant in Noho (the good one). I had the same thing as last time... so excellent. Andrew enjoyed it, and said afterwards that he's now decided he likes Indian food. Yay =) Afterwards we had our romantic evening, but Andrew fell asleep during Heathers. Strange movie. I didn't really get all the croquet playing, but I went with it.

Saturday it was raining and miserable out. Andrew slept in till like, 2, while I balanced & made out Verbosity accounts for the audit. Which I passed with flying colors, might I add! & Verbosity got the full amount we asked for, $800, so... go us!! I think next year they should ask for even more and start publishing once a semester, or just step up the quality of the one edition per year. Since it was pretty gross out -- windy and rainy -- Andrew decided to nix his plans of hanging out in Amherst alone. So he came with me to our floor reunion dinner since he knows most everyone. Hilarious... kept going back to toilet humor. And I stole even more italian ices to add to my collection (which I had started after eating with Kathleen in Abbey a few days prior... they had so many ices... I put three in my hoodie pocket).

I worked a bit more in the evening on my paper, and finally finished!! Then I talked Andrew into driving me over to the library to turn in all my books. We carried them together, & I warned the girl working there that the 19th century books seirously need some tape to keep body and soul together. We rented Almost Famous because I'd never seen it... and the girl working was so rude... It sounded like she said: "It's due on ten" or something, so I wanted clarification and asked, sorry, what? She gave me this weird look, raised her eyebrows, and said "On the TENTH, the TENTH of MAY" like I was being stupid. Not exactly scoring points on customer service, our library! And you'd think a senior done with papers & her thesis would be cut a little slack... but no.

Anyway, we then went over to Big Y. Did you know that Ben & Jerry's has tons of new flavors? I didn't. I talked Andrew into getting Fossil Fuel, which went well with brownies... Loved Almost Famous. I recommended it to Mom because I'm sure she and Tim will love the music.

Sunday was slightly better weather-wise. We took a Dunkin Donuts run, and then headed to the mall. I finally found a white dress for a decent price, since I'd heard from a reliable source that the dress I was going to wear looked like a nightgown =/ Also got the sandals at the Gap that I had wanted but couldn't afford till they dropped below half off =)

Back at MHC, Andrew proofread my 319 paper, and then we went to Fresh Side for our last time ever dinner there! Ahhhh! Sadness. Tea rolls & some spicy Korean noodles that I didn't think were that special... I prefered my standard ginger tofu rolls, personally.

Afterwards, we watched Desperate Housewives, which is getting so so good! Then... yummy Black Sheep dessert =) I'm going to miss that espreso cake...

Today was the last Monday morning that Andrew will drive away from the Delles to work... ahh! Sadness. I napped a little, and then read a little, mentally prepped for my defense, handed in my last paper... My defense went pretty smoothly I think. Prof. M was great (my third reader), MJS was wonderful as always, and Corinne was her amazing and supportive self. I got my usual chair, and Corinne her, for that feeling of continuity. They all had amazing points that I would love to incorporate if I ever come back to Mansfield. Afterwards they shook hands with me and C. blew me a kiss. Strange how they turned that into something enjoyable!

Afterwards... I rushed to Blanchard for sushi. I wasn't early enough for salmon & avocado, but I did manage to get spicy tuna rolls. Ate with Laura & Rhea & shared defense stories. There were four of us just done with our defenses, about to go, or prepping. Also saw Miranda, and chatted for a little bit. Then I planted myself in the art dept. computer room for about 3 hours to work on my poetry entry for the Clio-M. prize. Ate dinner with Kathleen & the third floor gang over at Prospect... got itchy from the bugs...

And now I'm back... Just got to prep for this thing tomorow... and I'm... really and truly... DONE!

This past week has been so incredible. I feel like I've been at full capacity both academically & socially... I think I left off my last post at Thurs. evening, so let's pick up where I left off... =)

Friday: I wandered around in the sunny weather, with good intentions of being productive, which never really were realized. I got a bit of work done on the revising of my thesis, saw the May Pole from a distance, talked to Ashley, talked with some of my firsties from Eng. 101 (ahh I'm going to miss them SO much), ate dinner in my room waiting to hear about the English Dept. t-shirts, etc... Around about 5:30 or 6 I stopped proofreading my thesis to get ready for Senior Ball... I had to do all the usual unnecessary preparations -- like showering & painting my nails, which left little time for the more necessary things -- like getting dressed & doing hair & makeup. Andrew got here super early, so that didn't help, either. He brought a corsage, which was so sweet... So maybe Senior Ball doesn't exactly require a corsage, but people understood once I explained that I missed out on my high school proms & that Andrew is making it up for me by being the best date ever. *Such a fun night!*

We got to Chapin for the dance rather early -- early enough to get free champagne and for me to eat THREE chocolate cake bars from the Black Sheep -- Oh, bliss in a square! It was a gorgeous job with decorations... As you walked in, a jazz band played in the near left hand corner; to the near right the bar was set up... there were park benches, trees, and streetlamps, with various twinkly lights thrown about... perfect for the "Walk in the Park" theme. I enjoyed the jazz immensely, and the DJ somewhat... the DJ got way better, of course, when he started playing '80s music (Madonn'as Like a Prayer, old school rap songs, Michael Jackson's Beat It...) Andrew and I danced, or tried to. I stupidly forgot to bring money for alcohol, so I don't think we were quite as tipsy as we would have needed to be to really, well, make total fools of ourselves. Saw everyone... Karuna, Kathleen, Claudia, Laura K., Jess & Lauren... quite fun!

Saturday morning we slept way way in, since we didn't get to sleep till nearly 4 am. I worked on my thesis after grabbing lunch, and then Andrew drove into Amherst for Thai food while I worked at proofing things and applying his last minute edits to my stories. After dinner (he had something involving beef & fried rice & string beans & zucchini that was good, I had usual pad thai, of course), it was time to get ready for the concert... The opener was very political, and Ani Difranco was amazing. Andrew enjoyed her, too -- and she read a poem, which made me happy. Very happy, peaceful evening after thesis stress.

I worked on my thesis late into Sat. night... around 3 am I had a formatting problem after trying to adjust the margins to make room for the binding. It was dreadful, dreadful... Andrew sat and tried to explain why it had happened, and I got so made at whoever the hell created the Word program, and then Andrew had to sit there and hold me as I got all teary & went through the entire 130-some pages looking for errors. Didn't get to sleep till quite late (or early depending).

In the morning I dragged my ass to brunch thinking that we were going to have a play reading... since no one but me and Ariel showed up, though, we decided to just eat together. I brought some food back to Andrew... and settled in for creating my table of contents, acknowledgements page, etc... Had an emergency conference with Corinne over where to put the works cited pages and such... Then we had to buy paper... And I printed my thesis, for free, I refuse to pay to print my thesis on my own paper on this campus...! So we got the thesis in its binder, and then I could rest... ie., go out for dinner. We went to Fedora's... nostalgic! I had the blueberry beer as recommended by Beth... soooo good.

In the evening... I had to start reading for Monday's last Stoppard class... and we breaked for Desperate Housewives (it's getting juicy!) Then more reading... and bed.

This morning I had to get up early, finish reading the play... then I napped since I had extra time... submitted my work for the Phi Beta Kappa award, submitted my thesis, the clean, bound copy, to the English Dept, grabbed lunch, communicated with the t-shirt people, finally ate, got worried that I needed two extra copies of my thesis in the dept for it to be official, was told that's not true, rushed back to Stoppard class, & had an awesome class (I was wide awake & (I hope) saying relevant things throughout). Afterwards, after a couple of errands, I went to the Blessing & Sending of the Seniors Ceremony in Abby Chapel. It was awesome... We all sat on this big circular labyrinth thing on the stage, and each religious/ spiritual group blessed us with chants, songs, or little symbolic items (such as potpourri, salt, poems). Then we each created a square with our names on them to be part of a paper quilt. Quite nice... I had to slip out early in case the t-shirt guy called to drop off the boxes... and I walked out with everyone singing on stage & a misty rainy day outside the chapel.

The t-shirts are finally here!!! I wore one to dinner to advertise... ran into lots of people, including Rabia & Kiara... so I hope we sell out!!

That's all for now... So, wow... tomorrow morning I have a brief presentation in 319, then all I have is my thesis defense and two papers! WOW. Tomorrow is my last day of undergrad classes. And tomorrow is going to be incredible, but more on that later (after it's actually happened =)

Hmmm. So I'm trying to think of highlights of the last ten days or so. And, as usual, I'm drawing a blank. What did I do last week? I'm not really sure. Lots of work... Friday the Glascock festivities started... I went to the Life & Letters talk, which was... hilarious. Mainly because of something that Prof. H. did to bring a close to a rather awkward -- rambling -- wrap up. That evening I got dressed up for the contest, and listened... lots of good stuff, and our reader's poetry was quite satisfying, as it is similar, I think, in aesthetic principles, to what I write. But I still wished that I was reading (I mean come on, first runner up two years in a row??) Anyway... Saturday morning I went with Julia to hear the judges read, and hear the results. The Smithie won... I personally thought her poetry was the least polished of the bunch, and the least thought out. Saturday night I went to my first seder with Karuna, Lindsay, Susan, Sarah, & Molly. It was great, partly because I had good company =)

Sunday... I got up pretty late, after working late into the night. I finally got my ass to brunch around noon thirty, and met up with Kathleen. Then I had a huge t-shirt fiasco... by default I'm kind of in charge of the English Dept. t-shirts, and I had to scan in the image and set up stuff with the screen printers. Sunday evening I got some work done, and then read theses with Karuna.

Monday... I went to N. Delle's Presidential Tea & told Jo jo that I'm satisfied with my education here, and that my classes have been great in my major, and that I'm going to grad school... it was a nice feeling of closure.

OK, Tues. morning the weirdest thing happened. I told Andrew so here's the IM conversation:

Pink Poodledog: this morning, 5:30 am: I wake up to some bizarre undercurrent of noise -- like a shovel being steadily scraped across pavement from a distance. of course now I need to pee, so I get up out of bed, look out my window, and see two people gesturing out on the green
Pink Poodledog: so I go to get my glasses, thinking I recognize them, and then the fire alarm goes off
Pink Poodledog: so I get my coat on and flip flops, run out -- we've had all our drills so I know something has set this off....
Pink Poodledog: we get outside...
Pink Poodledog: and wait for 45 minutes. three fire engines come, smoke is billowing out of the basement on the north side, and we can see another flume going up above the roof from the other side
Pink Poodledog: all that hassle -- no explanation -- still none today, as to what the f*#$ happened and what the hell is being done to prevent it from happening again
Pink Poodledog: or what has been fixed thus far (ex: can we take a hot shower, or not?)
ANDPEW: but what about the people who were outside before the alarm went off? they didn't know what caused it?
Pink Poodledog: so then finally we're allowed to shuffle back in, though it's still smoking, and it smells like ... you know the smell of a burnt pot, after you've tried to boiled water and all the water's boiled away?
Pink Poodledog: that's what it smelled like in all the common spaces
Pink Poodledog: no idea, when I looked again before jetting out of my room they weren't there
Pink Poodledog: so by the time we're back in the dorm... it's too bright out to get back to sleep easily, the crows are going at their f&$*ing annoying ass squawking, and I'm wide awake...
Pink Poodledog: sooo annoying... so I only got like 5 hours of sleep at most

See, I whine to everyone, not just my blog readers!

Anyway...

Tuesday evening Azeen & I read theses in the evening after my last ever small group for SAW. It was great -- and I love her project!

Weds. was a down day at first -- it was gross outside, and I realized I had more work due than expected. I was frantically getting stuff together for my poetry portfolio & Eng. Dept. contests. But then I went to my last 101 class (the English class I mentor). The two groups presenting were awesome, simply awesome. Eleanor was channeling a mix of Jerry Blank of Strangers with Candy & Lorraine (of the funny throat clearing noises) of MAD TV. Then Mary & Linda's group made up a ritual based on a myth involving the Little Bru-ha-ha & a plant with Michael Jackson fruit. I laughed so hard I cried. I can't believe how incredibly lucky I was to mentor for this class. I talked to Prof. Davis afterwards, and we hugged, and it was the most satisfying class... ever. And I completely love the firsties -- I hope I'm lucky enough to have students like them in the courses I TA & teach in grad school. I finally realized that yes, I like doing this, and I think this is what I want to do with my life.

Today was kind of sad... We had our last Verse writing class, and I'm not kidding when I say that we should have a Livejournal community based upon that class. We were laughing like crazy over something I can hardly remember now, instead of looking at my poem -- a situation I was perfectly happy about! (Sometimes I don't feel like defending my poetry thought of the hour...) Plus I treated myself to chai... ahhh... chai.

This evening was lovely. A group of us went to Noho for Miranda's birthday, to eat dinner at Osaka. Miranda got hibachi, so we were treated to a whole show: flames, bouncing eggs, burning towers of onion, flying chunks of fried egg... I did my usual sushi thing (i.e., anything with avocado and/or asparagus). We took lots of pictures... I had the best time, sitting by Miranda and Sarah... We must all stay in touch! Afterwards we explored in Faces, taking funny pictures, and then ran through traffic to catch the bus. Back at MHC, I lured everyone to the Delles for our chocolate bash =)

So that's the main stuff... On the thesis front: I finally decided to go with my reader and 2nd reader. They've both given me final edits, and I've applied almost everything to the critical chapters, and then just need to do the same with my short stories (a job I'm saving for tomorrow). Then I need to proof everything, add a table of contents & acknowledgements page... print... and... I'm done!

And I'm graduating in... what... 23, 24 days? This was my last full week as an undergrad...

Two things I forgot to whine about:

1. Our dorm t-shirts are aaaaawful. First off, they're yellow -- a color which only looks good on a select few (me not being one of them). Then, it has a hamburger on it, which I just don't like on principle. Lastly, it says "delle-icious," which, I admit, is a clever way to use our dorm name, EXCEPT for the fact that this same tactic is used ALL THE TIME, most notably on the shirt I got my FIRST YEAR while living in the delles, which ALSO said "delle-icious" but only with a picture of a Chinese food take out box, rather than a burger. So not pleased. Plus it's in a 70s bubbly letter style that doesn't set well with me. Karuna is saving the day -- her dorm has a leftover hoodie with a way cooler theme!

2. Monday morning: I'd stayed up till 3 am working on my thesis introduction, and was scheduled to get just barely 7 hours of sleep (my minimum necessary to be alert and functioning). 8:30 AM, an hour before my alarm was to go off, a loud foghorn blare -- the opening of our fire alarm. I woke up -- groggy and interrupted in the middle of the much sought after REM cycle (ie "rapid eye movement" -- when you're dreaming, that last phase of sleep that actually makes you feel rested -- proven at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NY in the '50s to be the really vital part of your sleep cycle -- if you're woken up each night whenever you start REM-ing, you're cranky & ill-rested). I realized that I couldn't fall back asleep unless I peed, so I got up for the restroom. Everyone else was out in the hallway, too, and on the way back to my room I was complaining to Jess. This might be the one thing she remembers about living next to me: "I was in the middle of REM. I'm never going to get that back!" The alarm started going off twice more in a ten minute period. VERY pissed off about it! I can't wait to live not-in-a-dorm =/

It's been a busy week!

Last week my cousin, Janel, was visiting the area since she'll be starting an MA program at Umass in the fall for creative writing. So Tuesday we drove around Amherst in her rental car, looking at various apartment options. But I think she ended up finding something the next day, a bit north of the town, that will work out better. I had small group for SAW, so we weren't able to eat dinner together -- we met up afterwards to see Prison of Women though (a play being put on at MHC, in which Miranda had a part!) I enjoyed all the visuals, and realized that the script the students had made was better in my opinion than the original they used for a basis. Weds. Janel & I got together for dinner -- I'd suggested Fresh Side since it's one of my favorite places here. We caught up on family, work/ school, & plans for next year... Quite fun, because Janel was always my favorite cousin growing up; I felt a connection because she also liked mashed potatoes best at Christmas dinners!

Friday was a busy day, as we started Verbosity layout. We basically hung out in the Info Commons around a large monitor...all afternoon! Friday evening Sarah & I joined up with Jess, Diana, and Mel to go see the production of Arcadia at Smith. We were quite jealous of the theater building at Smith - so much nicer than ours here! We ate pizza, and headed over... Sarah & I were in the front row, center... amazing! No one in front of us... No heads obscuring parts of the stage... wow. Then Prof. Salter & her husband came in, and they had seats right next to us. Very cool. I appreciated the ambiguous ending, as I'd been depressed over T's death as I read the play that morning. Afterwards, we tried to go for ice cream, but everything was closed.

Saturday morning I had thesis work, and then I joined up for another afternoon of Verbosity layout. Managed to do something fun in the evening though, to make up for the fact that I didn't go to Boston this weekend (Andrew, Jon, & Jen were giving Andre (the Brazilian cousin) a tour of Boston). So I went with my neighbors & Kathleen to the piano concert, since both my profs. wrote song lyrics to be set to music. Kathleen & I got the giggles as we sat through a very long piano piece... I just can't stay interested in piano music for that long.

Anyway... after a long night of work, Sunday morning I went to brunch to meet Miranda's mom (who was visiting). On the way over to another Verbosity meeting, I stopped at the carnival, managing to consume a snow cone and two servings of cotton candy. We got the cover art done, & Laura & I went to the carnival for snow cones... We had to wait awhile for them to get more ice... And then this woman in front of us kept trying to get the last of the cherry syrup out of the bottle. It sprayed all over her, but instead of stopping, she kept going! And managed to get it all over my supposedly dry clean only skirt, sweater, and white tank top... She mumbled sorry and hurried off... needless to say, she didn't even offer to pay for cleaning (which I think would be a standard, courteous gesture... she wasn't a student, either, so it's not like she could play the starving student card...)

After cleaning up, Laura & I sat in the gazebo. It's really quite nice. You're outside, but not exposed to the mosquitoes. Plus it smells like sun warmed wood. That night I finally got down to finishing my introduction. This week I'm meeting with Corinne, Prof. Ahmed, Quillian, and Azeen over the thesis. Ack! I think it will end up relying more heavily upon the critical chapters. Quillian thinks otherwise it will be too long and disjointed (before special big margins, it's 68 pages of critical work, and at least 30 of stories... seems kinda unwieldy). If I were starting this project over again, I'd nix the stories & go heavier into Marxist theory, weaving it into the close reading... If I had world enough and time... right?

Anyway, that's my news! It's been gorgeous out, which has been good for my mental health... I'm so glad to be going to CA next year... I never again want to live anywhere that requires one to wear pajama bottoms under one's pants just to stay warm in the winter!

I'm procrastinating from working on my Eng 319 paper, so I thought I'd post a blog entry. Had a super fun weekend, so, it's time for an update!

Friday: I ran into everyone (Karuna, Laura K, Laura E., Beth, etc) while walking around campus, and found out that Korisha's science symposium presentation was starting at a quarter to three in the afternoon. So until then, I read Stoppard's Indian Ink while sitting in Pratt Library. I didn't understand anything about Korisha's speech except that this flame retardant stuff could be put on a couch or something. We weren't brave enough to ask how you'd get the charred stuff off afterwards...

Anyway, then we had hoped to go on a picnic, but I didn't get back to my room till after Beth had called -- so unfortunately I missed out. Andrew got here at a decent hour, and we decided to take a run out to the liquor store in Chicopee. I'm slowly acquiring Andrew's taste in beer... Magic Hat, mainly. Anyway, then we attempted to watch Cold Mountain, but Andrew promptly fell asleep. Warning: If you haven't seen this movie or read the book, I might spoil the ending for you.

OK. So I found it supremely frustrating, the ending. I didn't sit through over 2 hours of Jude Law's character overcoming one impossible situation after another, somehow surviving everything, just to watch him get killed because he's freaking stupid and wanted to run up the side of the mountain looking for the bad guy without anyone backing him up. One does not get through all that crap without being extremely cautious -- so why would you take the guy one-on-one when your group outnumbers his (Georgia, the two girls, and the beat up father). I found that rather stupid. When Andrew woke up, groggy as hell for a shower, I told him that he's not allowed to ever run up a mountain after someone with a loaded gun. He nodded. Not sure if he really got that.

Another frustration with the movie: Whatever happened to complex characters? The bad guys are unbelievably bad -- they're beating up on old women, babies, children, killing people left and right. It seemed a tad too simplistic for me... Few people are all bad or all good, and the most interesting "bad guy" characters are like Shakespeare's Richard III -- people we can sympathize with (even just a tiny bit). Then Renee Z.'s character -- the classic tomboy "type" who has the easy-to-follow habit of listing everything. Nothing to figure out here -- she's the tough girl with heart. So, in conclusion, if I want a Civil War movie, I'm going back to Gone With the Wind.

Saturday I had an alum/ student luncheon, so Andrew sat by the lake making phone calls. It was quite fun (the luncheon) -- I spoke to an alum from class of like, 1948... she used to live in the Delles and loved it because she and her friends learned how to sneak in after hours. Two demerits and you were out! She also said something interesting about naked photos of students to see if their posture improved over the years... bizarre! My alum was a perfect match -- her mother (who had donated money that apparently was used toward my grants) and she were both English majors at MHC, and from the bay area. So she was glad to hear I'd be continuing on.

Then we went shopping -- I wanted a skirt, tank tops, & earrings. Found everything, and Andrew came upon the perfect birthday tote bag. Got out at a decent time... Then we coordinated with Korisha, Beth, Emily, & Kathleen for a trip out to Osaka. Sooo good... then Andrew & I went to Faces briefly, and then back to the dorm. Got ice cream at Blanchard (Andrew was pleasantly surprised), and then back in my room I read submissions for Verbosity while Andrew slept.

Sunday we went for brunch at the Roadside Cafe, which was, as usual, very yummy. Then we sat out on Amherst's town green for the entire afternoon (I got a bit pink, and Andrew had some burns). I did my reading, and wrote a poem while waiting for food at Fresh Side. A bit more shopping (I needed fun summer flip flops), and then we had dinner at Blanchard (I had gotten Trader Joe's sushi... nothing like Osaka's, but still better than dorm food). We had a pretty quick Verbosity meeting... Andrew and I went to Big Y... then we ate a whole tub of Chunky Monkey while watching DHs.

Today it was sunny, again, yay! Had a supremely frustrating Stoppard class (ARGH! Someone actually suggested that Stoppard basically has no right to have a female lead character due to the fact that he is a man). I dropped in on Kathleen's floor tea with the college president (amazing strawberries, that's all I have to say). The conversation pretty much centered upon dining halls, heating concerns, and the new dorm. ESB dinner was great fun -- we're trying to decide on next year's stuff, and I think we're going to try to have a grad school meeting in a couple of weeks.

Now, back to paper...!

Ahh I just entered a post and it all disappeared when I tried to load the page... error message... f*&#ing internet connection here!! So it's going to be a really, really brief rundown...

Last week: ESB hosted the Dept. tea, and it went swimmingly. We really took control and hosted it! Watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Weekend: D Becky's for The Incredibles, Laura's b day party (Eric Carle museum!), naps, Festival of Diversity (and the adorable prof of Laura's...who hugged me as I left & commented on how much I liked the curry), amazing brunch with Azeen, lots of work... sundae hall event & DHs

Week: David Sedaris with Andrew and then nachos (ahh food!), mentoring apps, felt rather sick today, good talks with Weber, Quillian & Ahmed about dept. tea shirts & Marxist criticism ... fun verse writing class with many tangential discussions... the OC...

So... since I've been bugging Mer about updating more, I thought maybe I should update, too. Hmmm trying to remember what I've been doing...

I just had this weird moment of trying to figure out how long I've been back from spring break. The weekdays have been so so busy... very productive for the most part. Many mentoring meetings with the firsties in the English 101 class I'm mentoring....various SAW duties...lots o' schoolwork... a few quiet evenings trying to get work done.

Last week while I was at the Blanchard SAW table, I heard these two women talking to students about summer jobs. I went to an info. session after I found out that they have locations in both Madison & Ann Arbor. It's through Greenpeace/ Sierra Club/ State PIRGs. It's strange... not very good pay, unless you bring in a lot of money while going door to door talking to folks about environmental/political issues. After talking to people about it, I decided maybe it's not the best job to have... You basically go door to door in a city from 1 pm till 10 pm. Hell of a way to spend my nights, right? It was cool though because I was interviewing with the twin sister of this girl I knew my first year at MHC.

Then, the next day, I had an uber positive job experience. An alum posted to chat about freelance writing projects, and I emailed her with my resume and writing samples. Within two hours, I got a phone call, and my first project! So that's been incredible thus far, and I hope to continue doing this throughout the summer so I can stay with Andrew before grad school.

Weekend news update:

So Saturday I thought it would be a really good idea to go shopping for a white dress for the laurel parade. Um, no. Bad, bad idea. Andrew & I set off for Sylvester's for brunch, but I found out that the waiting time was 50 minutes, so we tried the Waitley Diner. Cool looking place, so-so food. I guess like any diner, they get most their dishes out of tin cans and TV dinner boxes. My hash browns were obviously the kind you can buy frozen in any supermarket. The cornbeef has was just as obviously straight out of a can. I was NOT impressed. Andrew liked his omlette though, and the trippy metallic/ mirrored interior was worth it.

Anyway, after that travesty of a brunch, we were on our way to the Holyoke Mall. Ahh... I found TONS of beautiful clothes, but very few nice white things... A strapless white dress at Charlotte Russe seemed promising, but a bit too formal, and they didn't have my size on the racks (and I wasn't looking forward to undressing a mannequin). Forever 21 had a cool hippie dippie white skirt, but Andrew agreed that it made my hips look bulgy. I found a cute skirt embroidered with flowers (in white thread, of course) at Old Navy, but I couldn't find any cute tops to match it ANYWHERE. Every top was either the wrong style, the wrong shade of white, or too risque to wear (ie, no lining in the bra area). The trip to Target was successful food-wise, but again, no white top to match my skirt.

So... after feeling completely let down and depressed about that, I tried on this white slip dress I've had since high school. It was sitting in my drawer, and I finally remembered to tell Andrew that I had one possible thing to wear. He was incredulous & confused as to why we had gone through the shopping debaucle. I thought it was too clingy to wear, but I've since talked to friends about it and they agree -- I should buy clothes I actually plan to wear after May 20, & just use the dress I have for the parade. So that's decided!!

Oh, I saw Word Wars, the documentary about professional scrabble players. Sooo good. GI Joel is awesome!

Sunday I brought Andrew to brunch at Prospect. He felt sick all afternoon/ evening, so we've agreed: no more dining hall food for him. Instead, I'm going to use my dining dollars the way they were intended to be used: on Chef Jeff cookies & chai! In the afternoon I finished my Tom Stoppard paper & we headed into Amherst for dinner stuffs & to return my Old Navy skirt. We ended up wanting to get sushi from Trader Joe's, so we didn't stay for coffee at Rao's... The weather's warming up so you can't use the car as a fridge =) We did get our coffeeshop time in though, as we went to the Thirsty Mind for drinks & a scrabble game before dinner. I beat Andrew, finally!!! 330 something to 240/50 something if I remember correctly. Upon arriving back to my dorm room, I found out that the Stoppard class was canceled, so that took the pressure off me to finish rereading The Invention of Love. Very nice feeling to realize that you can spend the evening with your shmoopy!

I insisted upon bringing our "picnic" dinner to the private dining room in the delles. It's a strange room... The wall paper is this antiquated white rose pattern on green, the curtains are long and billowy, a chandellier hangs over the table, and there's this dusty china cabinet sitting diagonally across a corner. On the shelves there are maybe two china platters and one teacup. And by the door there's one of those industrial yellow wheely mop buckets. It's a very odd room now that it's never used. I'm sure it'll be a quadruple dorm room in a year or two. So we ate there (Andrew refused to sit at opposite ends of the long rectangular table -- I thought it would have been funny, but he said no). Then, there was a great, great episode of Desperate Housewives... So addicted, and it's been so long since there was a new episode!!

Anyway... Monday was a catch up day, and a day of two mentoring apps gone awry (ie, no one showed up). Tuesday was busy with SAW duties... I had the table, reading, and small group. Today was nice... it's definitely spring now. 50 something degrees & sunny... I wore flip flops for the first time this year!! Ahh... sitting in the Stimson room during teatime, I realized I only have a few more such teas left at MHC... and tomorrow is the English dept tea that I've been organizing with the ESB, & all the underclasswomen will be hearing about the awesome courses being taught next year (ahhh Amy Martin is doing a seminar on class & gender in the Victorian novel -- how frustrating is that!?).

It's that nostalgic time when seniors are reflecting on their last spring here at MHC... this morning I was even thinking back to my visit to this campus as an admit, in the spring of '01... sometimes I try to reconcile my impression of this campus (from my first visit way back in the summer of 2000) with my current intimacy with its layout... ahh... I'll miss so much of it, but it's so time to move on... I can't wait to buy my own food (which I hope will be super healthy to make up for the past four years -- organic everything, free range chicken, milk from cows that weren't treated with antibiotics or hormones, etc.). I can hardly imagine showering without flip flops... I look forward to that, a lot... and not bringing a shower caddy everywhere... just having my shampoo there in the shower!! And going to the bathroom in the middle of the night without worrying about getting dressed... and controlling my own heat... but oh, there are those things you know you'll be nostalgic for later, too -- the campus here (especially in fall, spring, and early winter, during those first snowfalls), having friends to eat dinner with every night... the English dept. that I love... ahh!

Ahh!

Hmmm. Now that I have all my admissions decisions, I've found that I have fewer procrastination ideas. So I'm updating my blog! Let's see... where we left off, I was just back in Boston...

I finally saw When Harry Met Sally. Rather sad timing, I believe it was in between my grad school visits. I see why it's such a classic... ahh!

I think it was Weds night that we went to the Lizard Lounge for dinner. I'm developing a taste for beer -- not any old beer, just certain kinds... So far, I seem to have taken a liking to Andrew's Magic Hat varieties, & really light beers with lemon (I had a Belgian white something or other). It makes my head feel warm and fuzzy...

Let's see... We also watched Day of the Dead, which was quality. Not really, but it was funny. I especially enjoyed Dr. Frankenstein's pet zombie, Bob. I think that was his name. Anyway, this zombie re-learns how to operate a gun, which is a plot twist. Probably my least favorite of the zombie movies so far, though. Very low budget.

Thursday I caught up on the OC while Andrew was at work, and then we watched the new one over sushi. Andrew is getting quite good at making sushi (although he forgot to add the avocado in one roll). Soooo yums... While grocery shopping earlier in the day, I had picked out the most incredible avocado (just the right amount of give to the skin -- that's my new trick), and a not-quite-ripe mango (next time: the more squish the better).

Friday we slept in, as Andrew was leaving for the airport in the afternoon. For the rest of the weekend I had to fend for myself -- made lots of pasta, salad, and rice dishes. Friday night I watched Legally Blonde for about the twentieth time. Saturday I watched SNL (not so good).

My goal from Weds- Sun was to write 5 pages a day on my thesis. I reached it everyday but Sun, although some days involved some recycling of material. I now have 59 pages of critical writing... and I'm still working on the creative portion. Funny how last semester I had such trouble writing the lit. crit., and now it's flip flopped to problems with writing my own stories. I feel like my creative energies are drained with verse writing... oh well... So, with any luck, after some revising & editing, it'll be ready to send out... Then I can concentrate on the stories.

Sunday Andrew's plane was late -- big surprise, right? Another mechanical problem, something about a wing flap and the computer it was hooked up to. Screaming baby on his flight too -- do booking agents make sure to have at least one annoying child on every single plane?Andrew and I agreed that babies should be put on sedatives when they travel. Happy sleeping baby = happy sleeping passengers. Really, I think it's a strange sort of cruelty to both parties...

Anyway, once Andrew got home we had a quick version of Thai fried rice (with mango!), talked about his Michigan trip (seems it's a better match for his research interests than Wisconsin), and relaxed.

This morning we had a mad dash to the bus station... I was so worried we wouldn't make it in time. Then we got through a tunnel, and suddenly, we were there... Andrew was quite proud of himself, and I was astonished that we'd arrived with 13 minutes to spare. There were so many college kids returning from spring break that they had a separate express bus to the valley. I slept/ listened to music/ watched snow fall.

At MHC, I immediately checked my over-stuffed mailbox to discover my Harvard rejection. "We know that you must be very disappointed" -- yeah right... I wouldn't have exactly welcomed the idea of staying in New England any longer! Also lying in wait: tons and tons of notices and letters from MHC about commencement. Dear Lord!

It was tres strange to arrive at my room. It's been about two weeks -- and when I left, it was snowing heavily, I had no idea what my grad school decision would be, I felt swamped and worried with work... And now... so much more peace. Had good talks over lunch & dinner with Miranda, Sarah, Kathleen, Ariel, and Laura. News has traveled, & I chatted with Prof. B about next year. Ahh I'm going to miss our English dept. & everyone here!

Ack I've neglected my blog!

So I'm now 22 -- which doesn't feel much different from 21, except that it was less of a milestone. My "birthday weekend" (I didn't want to celebrate on March 7th since it was a Monday, and a very busy one at that) was fairly low-key. Saturday I got some work done & went to the jazz concert with Kathleen, where we ran into more friends. I tried the vanilla chai from our uncommon grounds place, and it was very sweet and very vanilla-y. And a cookie for later, as a reward for writing my 319 paper, which I did in the space between 9 pm & 1 am. Sunday I ran around between mentoring appointments, brunch, & the senior career fair thingy. Kathleen & I sat in on a round table discussion with alums & other students interested in grad school. When I said that I was deciding between two grad schools, and that one would mean being close to Andrew, the alum we were speaking with was like "Oh, go with your bf! Come on girls!" -- as in have fun and all that. Then I dropped the Stanford name, which always has the effect of reversing those opinions. And alas, even she backed up from her previous statement.

Afterwards, I headed back to my dorm room to wait for Andrew. We lounged around a bit before dinner -- Thai Corner! Which was yummy, I always order very safe things (pad thai). Then we watched Family Guy (or whatever the title is) -- that movie with Nicholas Cage in which he sees what would have happened if he had stayed in the states with his college gf instead of taking this great career move in Europe for the summer. We were laughing at points because it was like the same situation...

Monday was another crazily busy day. Mentoring appointments, class, preparing to leave for Stanford on Tuesday. I was all packed and ready by Tuesday around noon, just in time to be picked up. It had been raining all morning, but then around 11 am the fun started with little snow flakes drifting down... I told Andrew it was snowing and he said (ironically considering later events) that it wouldn't affect my flight. Ohhh the dramatic irony! So my PVTA ride was about 10 minutes later than the absolute latest they claimed they'd get there. So late I was contemplating giving up. By this time the snow was really coming down, and it had gotten colder. We got to the airport a little late, but my flight was backed up 20 minutes already. I heard a ticket agent say that everything was backed up with the weather. I proceeded, however, to my gate.

I sat by some middle-aged business men (they looked the part), because that usually seems like a good idea to me. And it was, again, in this situation. We sat there waiting to hear if the plane our flight was going to use had a change of coming in. Planes were deferring into Boston where the weather wasn't so bad. By this time, around 2:30, visibility was less than 100 ft, winds up to 50 mph (or so the rumor went), and lots of snow falling. It was swirling about outside the windows, and I couldn't even see planes docked at nearby terminals, so I figured it was pretty bad. F*&#ing weather!!!

It's hard to recreate this in my blog. We sat there long past our scheduled departure time, everyone around me was on their cell phones trying to find alternative flights or a place to stay the night and a flight in the morning. Not having a cell phone, I just sat there waiting for whatever the airport gods decided to do... One flight was canceled right away, as the plane had gone to Boston. We were worried the same would happen to the Chicago flight. Finally at least one plane landed near our terminal. It had circled for an hour and a half. Can you imagine? So there was hope that our flight would leave. At intervals the snow seemed to slow -- I could see further outside. Finally, around 4 pm, we found out that there was a good chance our flight would, in fact, leave today.

The problem with this was that the weather had only worsened, in my opinion, since various windows of "less bad snow." Plus it was just accumulating more and more as we sat there. The airport was closing off and on throughout the afternoon (also very disconcerting as you're sitting there waiting for a flight). I wondered if my luggage was still checked, or if all that had stopped working... very confusing. We finally did board, however, and the man I was sitting by (Chris I think) and I were incredibly happy. We must have been on the plane by around 5 pm, but then the fun was just getting started! I was trying not to worry about what would happen once I reached Chicago -- would there be a San Francisco flight later in the evening? Would I reach my host in time to tell them not to try to pick me up at the scheduled time? We all know how nervous I get about traveling, so it was amazing that I settled at some point & just figured that Chicago was closer to SF than Bradley airport, and had more promising weather!

Our flight didn't leave till about 6 pm. We sat at the terminal waiting for the airport to reopen (ie, get down plowing) so we could go for de-icing. At the de-icing pad we waited while two other planes were de-iced and sent on their way (one even got finished that arrived after us!!) At this point I was curled up trying to sleep and ignore the fact that I'd been in the PVTA van or at the airport or on a plane for 5.5 hours now, and that I should already be at Chicago catching my SF flight. No leisurely dinner with my host -- no time to meet other admits -- ahh! The de-icing took awhile, about 3 or 4 times the pilot's lie of "ten minutes." Whatever time anyone associated with an airline tells you, multiply it by about 6 and you'll get a more accurate picture. We finally did take off, however, and the antifreeze goop did its job so we didn't fall out of the sky.

We arrived in Chicago around 7:30 pm (their time). Or perhaps it was a bit earlier... hard to recall. At the ticketing counter, a woman told me that I'd been rebooked on the 8 pm flight. So I was very happy. I waited in long lines at customer service, hoping to use a phone for free as the flight attendants had promised earlier, and eventually just called my host from a pay phone to let her know what was up. OK, this is how good Stanford is. They'd already seen the problem, and one of the grad students (a wonderful person I met later) had heard from the office that they didn't expect current students to go out really late at night to pick up admits. So they'd already booked a taxi, and told the driver to stand with my name at baggage claim. Wow, no one had ever done that before for me! I was a little confused, however, because I figured my 8 pm flight wouldn't get me into SF tooo terribly late. Little did I know that Stanford had already anticipated my next problem with United airlines...

No one was at the gate I was supposed to be leaving from in 20 minutes -- and it said departure time 10 pm. This other person waiting approached me, and he was also confused. So I decided to see what customer service had to say. Some of the same people were there. I finally got an attendant, and he kept asking if my eyes were OK. I started tearing up (after all, it had been a hell of a long day, with poor airline communication, and no idea where I would sleep if I didn't get to SF). It always makes me more sad when people actually seem to care that I'm sad. So he was handing me tissues and asking to hear what was up. I found out that the 8 pm flight was not leaving till late (I later heard that the time got pushed to 10:20, and that people were skeptical about it leaving at all -- they had trouble getting a crew into Chicago from the east coast). But, I also found out that I'd been put on the 9:30 pm flight, and that my luggage would already be on that one. So I was frustrated to be spending even more time in the airport, but also strangely OK with things.

I headed over to my new gate via the trippy moving walkway. Those flashing neon lights and the deranged circus music can put one in a strange mood when one isn't feeling happy... I kind of just stood there on the moving walkway and squinted at the lights and wondered what the hell the world was coming to. Eventually reached the end of the moving walkway, which was repeatedly pointed out to me by a mechanical voice. I reached the gate, and talked to Andrew on the phone awhile, mainly bitching about the state of United airlines and flying in general. By the time I got off the phone, an onslaught of bewildered people had arrived via an international flight. I quickly realized that my gate had been changed, and scooted down to find it. At this new gate I heard from an older couple that the gate had been switched a number of times. Also I encountered the same man of the 8 pm SF flight, who told me that that flight might not be going at all, so he was now rebooked on the same 9:30 one. We waited, and boarded a bit late for a "mechanical problem." Once on the plane, this mechanical problem that should have been checked out long before, reared its ugly head. The pilot said that mechanics had spotted fuel leaking, and needed to observe it for 10 minutes to check it out. He told us this specific time later -- but I can assure you that it worked perfectly with my formula. 10 minutes x 6 = one hour. Yes, we sat there for an entire freaking hour. And nothing was fixed or accomplished except for some paperwork. I think that 9 times out of 10 mechanical worries result not in safer flights, but in delayed flights, because they all decide that the plane is air-worthy in the end anyway! No one was in the middle seat, so I spread out and tried to sleep. My seat-mate helped me to a blanket, and as we sat there with the mysterious mechanical problem that ended up not even being a problem, I told him to wake me only if we needed to deboard. It was now 10:30 pm, 11:30 pm eastern time, meaning that I'd been traveling now for 11 hours.

I got fitful, uncomfortable bouts of sleep on the plane. We finally arrived at 12:45 pm western time. Add that up, I've now been traveling for 15.25 hours. Found my driver easily, and we waited on my luggage. We were friendly, and he was sure that I wasn't from CA since I wasn't bitching about the flight. This became uncomfortable once we reached the van and he needed me to help read the mapquest directions. And he kept asking if I wanted him to show me the city while I was there... As if I didn't have a million things planned already!! I tried to be nice, but not too nice... Why a driver feels the need to come onto a travel-weary girl when according to her time zone it's freaking am, is beyond me. We got really confused on the Stanford campus, and picked up this Australian student who directed us to the grad student housing area. Once there, the driver called my poor host, who came running out in her bathroom to find me!

OK, so this is one of my fondest memories now. Sarah completely took me in, fixing hot chocolate & cheese sandwiches, and we talked for about 30 minutes, mostly on the subject of what we do English-wise, and what my thesis/ mentoring job are like. I liked her immediately, and there was something infinitely reassuring about this woman in her glasses & bathrobe, with a mug of hot chocolate. She had gone above and beyond the call of duty -- she had fixed up her room for me to stay in, even leaving a mint on the pillow & putting daffodils in a vase. I wasn't sure how right it was for her to have to sleep on the couch, but I did fall asleep instantly! Soo tired... I ended up being "in transit" between MHC & Sarah's from 12:30 pm eastern to 5 am eastern. So what, 16.5 hours??? Pretty f-ing ridiculous!

The next day I got up pretty early and rushed to get ready for Sarah's African American Lit. Theory class. But as I was trying to go, Sarah's roommate struck. This girl is not happy at Stanford, and mainly wants someone to gripe to. I was it for an hour. I kept trying to go, and she kept thinking I should go, but somehow it didn't work out... I finally made it, however, and found the English dept. where I met Judy & picked up my folder. She sympathized with my crazy flight problems, and then I was on my way with Prof. M. to find the right building. I sneaked into the class, which was absolutely amazing. It was comprised of 9 women and the prof, who was this awesome woman... ahh. They were watching this disturbing Spike Lee movie, and discussing the homoeroticism of this one scene, and how blackface relates to the hip hop "bling" in the film. Everyone sounded brilliant, and the discussion never waned. I was completely impressed.

Afterwards, I walked with Other Sarah & James (from New Zealand) to the faculty club lunch. OK, great food, and I had the most incredible chocolate truffle cake ever. I was in heaven. I met a prof. who is friends with Prof. W at MHC, and talked with Prof. S about going to a program far away from my bf's. The discussion hit upon an Old Norse course, the name Grendel being used for pets, and Hamnet. Between that and the truffle cake... yeah, amazing. Also listened to fellow admit Jessica, who is brilliant & cool, talking about her medieval/ early modern interests. Met Marie & Ruth, two amazing 2nd year students, and heard them talking about the difficulties of teaching CompRhet courses. Which they enjoy, overall.

After that I decided to skip out on an American lit discussion, and went to see where Jessika lives. Found the house, but not Jess! I called her, and then sat under and orange tree in the sun. This is another thing: coming from blizzard to 70s sunshine... WOW. I was so sold already. Later in the day I made it to the Aesthetics Theory course -- they were discussing Elaine Scarry's On Beauty and Being Just (I think that's the right title). Another amazing discussion. They were all giving presentations since it was the end of the quarter, so I got to hear a lot from the students. They're all super-bright, sharp people. The prof was also great, and already had learned my name. Again, I was super impressed.

After the class, we gathered in groups to head to Prof. M.'s house for dinner. My group was looking at housing options. In one of the Studio buildings, the elevator lurched twice and then stopped. We tried pushing the open door button, nothing happened. So we called the emergency line. A strange bonding experience. We all sat there, waiting for the firemen to arrive, and started talking. Another reason why my life is like an existentialist play -- rather reminds you of No Exit, doesn't it? But eventually the firemen did come, and told us just to push on the door. I was a little worried for our fingers, but with all of us pulling the door open, it worked... and we realized that we were standing just 3 inches above a floor! So we all stepped off... and it's still hard to believe that happened! Someone said, perhaps Sarah, "We could have done it all along if we'd only believed!" Strange!

So after that we decided to go right to dinner. One of my all time most favorite discussions over dinner. Most of the admits sat at one table in the lofted dining area. People were out on the porch, milling about in the living room with drinks, etc. It was like my image of what a nice dinner party would be like. Over dinner we shared admit/ reject stories, what our various choices were, which foreign languages we'd studied/ planned to study, and talked lit (of course!) It was amazing... I opted not to go out for drinks afterwards, and got to bed at a decent hour.

Thursday had been designated more of a SF day. I went to breakfast, and then we headed over to the library. The librarian of special collections had pulled out awesome original texts/ manuscripts that matched up with our interests. This was like a candy store for us -- Two editions of Chaucer (one put together by William Morris), an original Johnson dictionary (opened to "oats" which I'm going to use for my 319 assignment next week), the book of King John's inauguration or something of that sort, one of the original Ulysses published by the Royal Shakespeare Co. on Dutch paper, a serial edition of Ulysses, Woolf's Between the Acts (yay Hogarth Press!), various editions of Robinson Crusoe, a long poem illustrated by William Blake, an 18th century Paradise Lost... it was amazing. The librarian was telling us about how he gets these books, what the process was like woodcutting/ metal plates, etc. And the library is gorgeous.

Afterwards, we ran to catch the caltrain. We met up with J., a 7th year dissertating student, and some other 3/4 year -ers who live in the city. We had lunch with a prof (her apt. is cool, and we met the birds and turtles) at a pizza place, and then drove up to Twin Peaks for a view of the city. Very pretty up there -- can see the ocean, the city, the bay... Back on the train I talked with Jill and James, and back at Stanford I went to the English dept. and then planned to meet up with Jess & JP. I was standing out in the Memorial square area, with the sun beginning to sink... and the shadows from the archways were beautiful... and people were out on the lawn... and it was this idyllic, peaceful scene... palm trees' tops visible over the buildings... And then Jess & JP were there, and we walked around (they gave me a bit of a tour, explaining traditions, etc), and eventually I got to see her dorm, which is amazing! I kept joking that I couldn't understand why I didn't apply there for undergrad -- I felt like her dorm experience must be what MHC's used to be, but with better weather =)

Then Jess drove me around, and I got a much better sense of how the campus all fits together, where students live, and all that sort of thing. Plus it was so awesome to be sitting there with Jess! She walked me up with JP to the English dept, so I had this bubble moment of introducing my-friend-since-middle-school to my possible-future-cohorts! Ahh... Then all the admits and the grad student organizers went out to dinner at this cool restaurant in Palo Alto -- Mardi Graas beads and all... I had jambalaya, which was as spicy as warned... Our table was all women -- the Sarah who wasn't my host, and 5 other admits. Talked about moms & reading & finally asked Sarah what she had wished she had known before coming to Stanford, what what her least favorite thing was... the quarter system! Which Judy had warned me about before. I guess it can be something of a transition when you're used to a semester with all that dead space in the middle. Afterwards I decided to be daring and went out with Sarah for wine & dessert (which I didn't eat any of because I'm a germaphobe and can't bring myself to share things like that). A lot of current students were there, so I got more of a chance to talk with Joe & Ruth. Mostly about the long distance thing... and our conversation swerved to talking about bread/ baking... But it sounds like many people are in LDRs in the dept, and that the dept. understands personal lives... So that many people leave during their third year to start dissertating from afar... Or spend their summer language study months with loved ones... that sort of thing. I got the feeling that there's a lot of money floating around for grad students, and lots of opportunities to professionalize oneself.

Anyway... the next morning Sarah took me to the airport, and I think we hugged three times outside the terminal. I still feel like it was some fantasy I dreamed up. I told Sarah that one morning, I'd woken up and couldn't believe I was at Stanford, and couldn't understand how my life had led me up to this point. Really incredible... Ahh so it was sad leaving, but at least our flight left on time! It was a very full flight... And we ended up delaying landing as we waited for the runway to be de-iced (welcome back to the Northeast, right?) Andrew picked me up, and all was well -- we went to Sugar & Spice for dinner, and I had the purple rice (appropriate! Sarah saw me with my purple luggage, purple tennies, and purple shirt that morning, and said "Wow, everything you own really IS purple!") Then I did laundry, and repacked in the morning for Wisconsin.

Andrew dropped me off for my flight, which was supposed to leave at 1:25. I met up with Annie (awesome to sit and talk MHC English with her), and we were wondering why the plane hadn't started boarding yet (this is about 1:10). We got on the plane late, and then sat there till 3:10 or so as they checked out a mysterious "mechanical problem." People were pissed. The pilot kept saying "15 minutes"... "OK I know I said 15 minutes, and it's been 17, but it looks like 15 more"... "the mechanics are telling me just a few more minutes"... "we should be out of here in 30 seconds" (that one got a laugh). Yeah, it was ridiculous, like all my other plane experiences of the week. We finally got in the air around 3:30, and most of us missed our connecting flights. I got placed on one leaving Chicago at 8:10, so I had 3+ hours to stagger around my new favorite place: the Chicago O'Hare airport! Yippee!

Here's how I spent the time: First, rushing to the rebooking phones, where I was reassured that I was on the 8 pm flight and that my luggage would be on it, too. Then Annie & I went to this new gate, and I was told I needed to go to the original gate for a meal voucher (since mechanical problems meant I missed dinner in Wisconsin). Annie ended up on a United flight, and I trekked back to the original gate (no small feat). I went to an H-gate, in the general area, and the woman let me call Gwen to say "don't pick me up! I'm not there!", and then said if I wanted a meal voucher I needed to find the original gate. So I tried another, and a white haired lady gave me a form and said I could mail in a complaint, but that she couldn't do anything since in the computer it said we were delayed because of weather (it was barely snowing, and nothing like the blizzard I flew out of on Tues., so I was having none of that, esp after hearing he pilot reiterate "mechanical problems" over and over). So then I was about to give up, and started walking... Till I saw this man who looked nice & whose counter wasn't overrun with irate passengers. I talked with him, and he said he'd get a supervisor as I wanted... no supervisor came, and we talked about my trying to speak Spanish (and inability to roll R's), about people not understanding the diff. between weather & mechanical delays (mechanical delays mean you're guaranteed to be taken care of at the airline's expense, whereas weather means nothing), etc. Called the supervisor again, and he didn't come. So this man, one of the first human beings I've met at Chicago's airport, printed me a meal voucher and told me to use all of it. So I did!

I trekked back through the food courts, looking for something appealing. I ended up eating at Chili's, in a high table all my own. Then I called Andrew as I waited for the plane to board. I decided not to wait another hour for a later flight, in exchange for a $250 travel voucher. Funny how American Airlines offers $250 to wait an hour, but does nothing when they cause you to wait 3+ hours. I should have taken it in retrospect, but at the time I was worried about Gwen picking me up, etc... Talked to a student at Wisconsin as I boarded, he said to go to Stanford (if I'm remembering correctly).

It was a quick flight... but my luggage was not waiting for me at Madison. Funny how they had over 3 hours to load my one suitcase, and they didn't get around to it. Curses! I hope AA also goes bankrupt!! These airlines cannot function efficiently! Argh. So I met Gwen and Greg, and later Thom & Justin (all of the English dept.) We went out for drinks, and I saw Glynis (also of MHC -- there were three of us admits). Then my co-admit Emily arrived, who also stayed with Thom, Gwen, and Justin. I stayed in the basement among all the books.

On Sunday we went to lunch... and it was strange. I was sitting by an admit's friends who had nothing to do with English, and some CompRhet people. Also, nothing was paid for. Then we had a brief, cold tour, and I saw the ugliness of the Humanities building (built to resist student seiges), and the beauty of the views from within the building (out onto the frozen lake -- people playing with dogs and making snow angels). After going home briefly so that I could change, we found my luggage sitting there (finally arrived at 3:30...it must have sat in Chicago for a good 12 hours). So I was able to wear my own clothes (instead of Gwen's!) to the reception. I didn't mean any profs that I was crazy about, and none of them knew of me or my application (dif from Stanford's more intimate dept). Also, a lot of truly strange students who I couldn't imagine having as cohorts.

After the lukewarm reception, we headed to a prof's house for a potluck. Also kinda strange environment. Talked mainly to this girl Anne who's very loud, Emily, and this Matt guy who talked a lot. We four & a current student, Sarah, went for coffee & tea at Michelangelo's. I took some pictures of the state building (beautiful). Talked about movies, teaching, etc... Not as great as the conversations at Stanford.. Everything just felt less wonderful. I was not so impressed with my prospective cohorts.

Monday I got a late start since I didn't have anyone to walk over with for awhile. Finally Gwen, Emily, & I walked 30 minutes in the cold to the humanities building. I sat in on a panel about intellectual life in the dept (which sounded cool -- Prof. W seems sharp), and then a class about Ethics/ theory. The class was really awful -- no one talked, the prof wasn't dynamic, and people just didn't know their sh&#. I heard later that that was a particularly bad one since for some reason people didn't do the reading. Well, I knew at least one person in the Stanford class I attended who hadn't done the reading, so I imagine that isn't uncommon anywhere. But the diff. was, those Stanford classes still kicked ass.

Anyway, I left halfway through, and supposedly it got better. Emily & I ate lunch, and then attended diff. panels. I went with Morgan (fellow admit) to "What Will I Teach?" & Emily to "How Will I Live on a TA Salary?" It sounds like they are more bogged down with TA-ing (from 2nd to fourth years, and then no support except as a TA/ writing center person -- whereas at Stanford you TA & teach your first 3 years and then get support your last two years without doing anything but your dissertation), and it seems with more students, too, and probably not of the same caliber as Stanford undergrads. Soooo.... yeah. It seems like they have fun teaching, and that the students are good and hardworking, but I didn't get the same feeling that I did at Stanford. After this, we met up with Gwen and all four of us walked to the apt. to snack and talk and watch TV till dinner.

For dinner, we three admits with all our hosts went to The Weary Traveler for dinner. I had goulash, which was good and spicy, but it was a kind of strange meal... Justin kept smoking which was making me feel really gross (and got my clothes all stinky), and we talked about furries, Arcadia, etc... After dinner Gwen, Emily, Gwen's friend Laura, & myself all went to Woodman's for cheesecurds (Emily wanted to bring some home in a cooler. Strange). It was cool seeing Laura & Gwen -- they seemed more like people to have fun with on the weekends than I had realized earlier. Singing along to Beyonce songs & telling stories about going to nightclubs and having the guy friends pick them up at 2 am drunk.

Back at the apt, I ended up getting ready for bed early. Got plenty of sleep, and packed the next morning to leave. Thom brought me to the airport, and we talked... He said he didn't envy my position, since it would be a hard choice: Andrew/good profs at Wisconsin vs. assurance of Stanford's overall experience/ reputation. At Wisconsin it seems more laid back -- and Thom was like "but maybe you're a rock star, I don't know" (as in, should be at Stanford instead). So he's hoping to get profs. in touch with me to help with the decision... But talking to Andrew (and hearing Andrew's dad ask if we both realize I'd be crazy not to go to Stanford) and Mum... I just had that spontaneous gut reaction about Stanford. Maybe it's partly the weather, the order in which I visited the schools, the allure of the security of Stanford... But when it comes down to it, I feel really excited and elated about my Stanford visit, and disappointed with my Wisconsin visit. I guess that's as much as anyone has to go on, right?

Anyway, my flight from Madison to Chicago was smooth (although I started freaking out when we started boarding five minutes late... I was sure there would be another problem!) Then I had just enough time to eat, find my gate, call Andrew, and use the restroom before boarding for Boston. Quick flight -- like 1 hour 38 minutes I thought I heard? Must have had winds helping us out. I read "The Real Thing" and looked out the window. As we swooped over the Charles River, we had this incredible view of Boston's skyline with a backdrop of orange/pink sunset on the horizon. Everything worked out -- I got my luggage and called Andrew, and there he was in like five minutes. Dinner -- watching Jacob's Ladder (during which Andrew fell asleep) -- rest -- it was good to be home.

I'm beginning to feel as if the admissions gods have decided that Andrew & I will not be allowed to make any easy decisions. Today I got my Brown rejection letter in the mail, and Andrew's out at MIT. So now, well, the only faint hope would be Berkeley, but through the grapevine we've heard that they've already handed out all their CS acceptances. OK, I'll backtrack a bit:

Friday: Andrew came out, and we talked from around 7:45 pm till 3 in the morning or so. Punctuated by bouts of intense hugging & sighs. I'd put off wanting to talk about this stuff till now... I kept saying, let's see where we get in, and THEN worry about it. So now we're worrying about it!

Saturday: Slept in, had some lunch, read at Rao's in Amherst, and brought home yummy wings to go with a salad. Had a bizarre run in with this girl in the N Delle tv room.

Andrew and Becky are sitting in the TV room, eating dinner and watching a home improvement show. The lighting is bright. Enter one socially awkward, soft-voiced MHC student, from here on known as SAS.

SAS: Are you going to be long?
Becky and Andrew exchange confused glances. Becky: No, maybe another ten minutes?...
Andrew: We're just eating. Exuent SAS.

Ten minutes, on the dot, pass. Enter SAS.

SAS: Are you going to be much longer?
Andrew: No, we're just eating...
Becky: We're just finishing up... We're not watching anything special, if you want to turn the channel. Awkward silence.
Becky: Ok, we can go, I guess.
SAS: It's just, I have a movie to watch for my history class... I don't mean to kick you out... You can go to another room though, and the other tv room, but the VCR there isn't working.
Audience might be reminded that it is 7:15 pm on a Saturday evening. Becky and Andrew gather themselves and leave room to SAS.

I don't understand what's going on with MHC students. Are we this socially awkward & just plain strange? Who kicks people out of a TV room to watch a movie for class on a Saturday evening, when they haven't even reserved the freaking room?? Argh. I would never do this to someone! That's what the freaking VIEWING ROOMS are for in the library...

Anyway, afterwards we had fun at J-show, sat with Kathleen and D Becky in the front row since we got there when Chapin was still empty. Enjoyed the glow sticks, and wished that people would shut up so we could hear the show. Result was, you needed to be as annoyingly drunk as the most annoying audience members in order to be entertained. So sorry, juniors! I wish people had kept it under control...

Highlight of the evening was going to Lauren, Jess, & Mel's party in the Delles. Started playing "never have I ever" (actually, never had I ever played that game). Weird incident: When 3 MHC-ers came and drank alone in the sunroom and then departed without saying goodbye or contributing to the party... later one of the girls realized some of her bottles were missing!

Sunday: Another sleep in day. Went to brunch with Kathleen and Karuna, did some work, and then had fun with a playreading of Travesties (I love our Stoppard class, the coolest people are in it). Andrew had fun, thank goodness -- we needed more voices (and it's nice to have a guy). In the evening we went looking for dinner at Chili's. Never again! They should not try to do Mexican food. Their "fajita quesadillas" are no better than Blanchard's. Andrew was a sweetheart to put up with me... Had a yummy dessert though! Cheesecake from Rao's.

Today, in light of Stanford, I told all my recommenders the news & broached the question of how one chooses between love & academics. Quillian had stories of the first woman tenured in Stanford's dept, and her husband who ended up switching areas... and how they both ended up at UCLA. Corinne and I are talking on Friday. Collette sees this as a great opportunity... Ack. And the Brown rejection, albeit expected, was no less traumatic... Why couldn't I have gotten in there instead?????? Grrrrr!

In some good news: I had two people drop in at the Blanchard SAW table today! And I had a chat with Tom, this older gentleman representing study abroad programs through East Anglia. Lots of pretty snow! A good chat with Kathleen over dinner. And my eyes seem better after a day off of my contacts & a nap.

Let's see... where to start... Well starting around Valentine's Day, actually, I've been feeling kinda run down and tired. Very strange. My mind usually feels sharp & engaged, but my eyes are burning and tired. Started wearing my glasses in the morning instead of contacts, thinking perhaps that was the problem. Doesn't seem to help. And I hate having bloodshot looking eyes. So gross! Very sensitive about eyes, anyway, as Mer can tell anyone -- yuck, they're like spheres of goo, but without them... well I can't imagine not being able to see. OK, anyway, moving on to actual events in my life rather than bizarre rants on eyeballs:

Last weekend was pretty low key. I had an essay to write, after all. Friday night we watched Night of the Living Dead, because I wanted to see the originals after the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Pretty good, with the satirical ending... rather bleak view of the world. Saturday was a quiet day, stayed on campus, and in the evening we were waitlisted to see this play, so instead we played trivial pursuit while drinking gin & tonics (my favorite drink, it seems "adult," & it really DOES taste like a Christmas tree). Sunday morning I had mentoring appointments, and in the afternoon we went to Rao's in Amherst for studying & Fresh Side (I love those ginger tofu rolls). In the evening we moved from the black & white Night of the Living Dead to the very '80s Dawn of the Dead. Interesting to see the original finally. It definitely had a lot more going for it in terms of, um, content. The new one is all special effects, and they seem to have forgotten to use the whole idea of the mall/ consuming/ commercialism, etc. The Romero version, although it might not be the most high tech (come on, the flesh eating scenes were CLEARLY latex and fake blood), at least had a POINT.

Anyway, we also watched Desperate Housewives with Karuna, which was another great episode! Overnight it snowed, so Andrew stayed till lunchtime. We ate at Blanchard (where we apparently were seen by half the campus), and then he walked across the snowy green to his car while I headed off to Clapp for my Stoppard class. Kinda funny having him around for what is normally a more hectic part of the week.

This week has flown by. Last Friday, PS, I had a major breakthrough with the thesis. Not in the productive I wrote 50 pages way, but in the wow, the way I was doing this really wasn't going to work, and this is a better way, even though it means scrapping 15 pages of writing. So it looks like my class relations chapter is going to be expanded to, somehow, be my entire thesis (along with my short stories...) Tomorrow will be my thesis work day, it needs some attention.

OK... so further big news on the grad school front. Andrew was rejected at Stanford last Friday. I was rejected at UC San Diego (on the same day!) But that morning, while waiting for a call from a prof. at Wisconsin, a prof. called from Brandeis to tell me that I'm in (which entails a 5 year funding package, free health care, etc.) Hmmm. I finally called this prof back, let's just go by M.S., and Prof. S. has this great English accent, and at one point actually said "Oh, excuse me, the kettling is boiling," followed by the sound of a whistling teapot growing louder in the background. So excellent! Apparently he was at Columbia the same time as two profs. here... That was a "small world" moment.

So eventually I did get the call from the Wisconsin prof, and we chatted for awhile (not quite an hour though). I feel like it would be a very "safe" place to go (she made it sound as if I'd receive a "warm welcome"). We talked about where literary theory is going (finally got in my comment about reading Eagleton's After Theory and feeling all jazzed that the field is wide open). At some point, I realized that I was sitting on my bed in my 5 year old delia's flannel star pajamas. Funny moments in the life...

So the BIG news, though... Today I got back &, like every other day, immediately checked my voicemail & my email. Saw at least one email from Stanford. Thought, OK, I'll open this first, probably a rejection, no big news, Andrew isn't in there. Opened it... wow. I've been admitted! With full funding, of course, because that's the dept. standard. Argh! Now what? Talked to Audra this morning about this worry... That I almost wished I wouldn't get into places that Andrew didn't, even if they are my tippy top choices. Talked to Mum a little. Must speak with Quillian & S. and... ahh... I don't know! I mean... their website says they generally offer places to 12 students a year, out of like 350 applications. And the prof. made it sound like this was an esp. competitive year... ACK. So direct any comments, opinions, pieces of advice, words of wisdom, to my "comment" feature, recently enabled by none other than my Andpew, who so should have gotten into Stanford... they don't know what they're missing out on =(

Still holding out hope that we both get into Brown, Berkeley, or MIT/ Harvard.