amazing lines in lit criticism

"Even now, 30 years on, Highsmith's bold denouement makes one want to squeak like a lost baby whale joyfully rejoining its pod." -- Terry Castle writing for Slate

true story

Last night Helene & I took a long walk to 20th and Irving to see about a coat-rack for the hallway. On the way, as we were walking up Haight and had just passed three homeless men who called us beautiful, I suggested we maybe walk along Page so as to have the sidewalk to ourselves. Because, as I said, even though I have this fantasy that I'm going to meet someone while walking on a crowded street, it never happens -- and instead, I have to avoid tires thrown by street kids (also, true story -- and one of the street kids cleverly threw in "I bet you get men throwing rubbers at you in the street all the time"). SO. We walked down Page until we hit Golden Gate Park. We got the coat-rack, scouted out crowded restaurants to perhaps someday visit, and headed back to our neighborhood. We turned down back to Haight at Masonic -- and within a block -- a guy was trying to talk to us. I didn't get it, until Helene said something, and a random man on the street said "he wants you two to go to a party with him." OK. So we turn back, explain we were taking the air and picking up a coat-rack, and no, not going to any party at that moment. So we're walking away and Helene says she should have facilitated that better, because, after all, the dude was cute. SO HE COMES RUNNING AFTER US and gets our numbers.

The dramatic irony!

an analogy for life

so. I went out for a drink with a guy last night. and he told me about this study: apparently, tapeworms can actually help people with allergies. people have always gotten tapeworms and tried to fight them off. tapeworms have always retaliated and can suppress the immune system. then your immune system doesn't waste energy (or have the energy to waste) on fighting shit like dust mites and pollen.

the science, if you're interested: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/01/health/research/01prof.html

I'm kind of not that interested in the science. I think it's a great analogy for life.

TAPEWORM PHILOSOPHY
sometimes when you don't actually have anything to fight, you make up imaginary shit (ie, dust mites). better to have a real problem, in small doses (ie, tapeworms).

busy with the everydayness of it all?

how does this always happen??

life can be summed up, however --

I MOVED. I live with Helene and Kimon and Adam in a charming victorian with a backyard.

I read and write in the sunroom.

for valentine's day I went to steve's makeout party. I had a lovely time. then j. broke things off with me. I continue to date. but I run into j. whenever I walk by duboce park. THE BASSET HOUNDS PLAYING = WORTH IT.

for my birthday I had just what I wanted -- a dinner party. I made lasagna and ratatouille and a chocolate layer cake with vanilla AND chocolate buttercream frosting. then we danced to oldies.

a group of friends in the dept. started a reading group and it is marvelous. we critique and then we eat and socialize and drink wine.

what a WEEKEND

FRIDAY - Sushi w/ J. We ate seaweed salad & mackerel with bitter melon & homemade mochi & purple yam ice cream.

SATURDAY - A walk with Helene. A nap. Made dinner. Went to see the Sioux City Kid at On the Corner. Half-heartedly played scrabble. Made an appearance w/ H. at Kimon's friend's party. Hung out downstairs with the musicians. Sing along to Tangerine, Last Dance with Mary Jane. Warded off downstair neighbor's advances.

SUNDAY - Brunch with Garth & Helene. We had a 3-way involving corned beef hash, biscuits and gravy, sourdough french toast. Signed a lease with Helene & Kimon for an awesome apartment up at Haight and Divis.* Went to yoga. Ate the dinner H. had saved for me. Ate chocolate cake drizzled with heavy cream & condensed milk (chocolate tres leches? or dos leches?)



*I think my rent will be like 150-170 more per month, but we'll be living in A REAL VICTORIAN HOUSE! With all sorts of crazy period details. A huge kitchen with a PANTRY and a viking range and exposed brick. And a fucking SUN ROOM. And an amazing backyard with a deck. And we'll be going from sharing one common space with 6 people, to 2 separated spaces with 3 people; one fridge with 6, to one fridge with 3; 2 bathrooms with 6, to 2 bathrooms with 3. I am going to luxuriate in filling up the space. YES to awesome dinner parties, yoga in our sunroom, & room to store dry goods in JARS on REAL FUCKING SHELVES!

Housewarming plans tbd.

to yoga we go

I once said that, for a twenty-something woman in SF to say that she's into yoga, is wasted breath. Every twenty-something woman in SF is into yoga. Or at least says she is. Despite that observation, I went this past year without a yoga class. Last night changed this.

I went with Helene & Kimon & JBK to yoga flow, and now I get it. You enter from a side street in the Castro, and climb a wide set of stairs. As you sign in, you can hear the chanting inside, and you feel rushed to join in. A huge open room -- ballroom size -- is dimly lit by candlelight, heated to 86 degrees, and filled with yoga mats on the wood floors. The participants -- let's face it, mostly women -- sit facing the center of the room, chanting. Secular church?

I sweated like I haven't since I was in Singapore (where to walk during the afternoon is to soak through your clothes). But it was great. I love the narratives yoga gives you. Like, ok, I'm going to go through these poses pretending it's the only time i'm going to do them, knowing very well I'll have to repeat them an undisclosed number of times (only the instructor knows the number). Sometimes I'll choose to take the less challenging road because my thighs are trembling. Sometimes I'll feel like pushing myself because yes my arm DOES bend that way. Sometimes I'll hold a pose for the sake of the challenge.

This is all to say, it made me feel better about my dissertation. And dating.

life back at 410

Today I had a mini-crisis over applying for fellowships for next year. Then a reassuring phone conversation with Sarah. Then a productive early/late afternoon copying notes and writing the start to a draft of the Halifax chapter at Soleil.

And THEN I made beef stroganoff while listening to billie holiday. And then I ate dinner with Helene & we opened a bottle of bubbly rose wine. And THEN we made a storyboard to go with Anthropologie's latest, scantily-clad-model-populated catalog.

holidays

Had a great Oregon visit... I should have kept track of comings & goings. But I do remember:

- Two quiet days at home with just Mum & Tim.
- Mer's arrival with Brian, Sunny, and the gerbils.
- Our kids' night out in Hood River with Joe -- from the British pub to the brew pub.
- Sister time in Portland, at Powell's and the Pearl Bakery, while Brian took the GRE's.
- Dinner at Celilo.
- A walk in the leftover slush up the old logging road, with Brian & Mer.
- A walk up the old highway with Dad, Mer, & Sunny. We came across a little waterfall that looked like somewhere in Ireland, a setting for elves and unicorns. Then Sunny met up with another dog & played with vigor. We noticed the redness of the fallen leaves. We returned as the sun was completely setting, and Christmas lights were going on across the river in Washington.
- Christmas eve at Maribeth & Robin's.
- Christmas morning -- waking up to the Nutcracker Suite blasting in the living room, as Mum tried to get us out for presents. Presents! Then getting ready and dressed for Christmas dinner with Grammy.
- Dinner at the Inn, overlooking the Columbia.
- Impromptu family reunion with Mom's cousin. Gouda the English bulldog & the cat-like Japanese Chin.
- A snowy hike with Mum & Mer up Gilhouly.
- Working at Dog River Coffee, then getting pizza with Mum & Mer & exploring bookstores.
- Lazy mornings, reading by the fire & drinking coffee.
- A last moonlit walk with Merrie & Sunny -- the moon was so bright we didn't need a flashlight, and the trees even had shadows.